Saiyan-speare?
by Hipstergecko
Summary: Gohan is studying Shakespeare. Vegeta suddenly takes an interest. Vegeta and Hamlet? Silly little ONESHOT for my own amusement. Rated T because Shakespeare has a mouth on him.


ONESHOT

Saiyans like Hamlet?

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><p>"Hey Gohan, whatcha readin'?"<p>

Gohan looked up from his textbook. "Hamlet."

Trunks tilted his head to the side. "What's hamlet?"

"It's a play we have to read for school. Our teacher is going to make us act out a scene from it on Friday."

Trunks wrinkled his nose. "Sounds boring."

"It kind of is." Gohan sighed. "The story is cool, but the language they use is almost as foreign as namekian."

Vegeta came into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. "Oh, hey dad." Trunks greeted his father. Gohan had come over to ask Bulma about a science project, but hung around to work on his other homework until she was free. Vegeta stared at Gohan a minute before pointedly ignoring the boy. He had better things to do with his time than read stupid books.

Trunks shifted in his seat. "So what's it about?"

"It's about a prince who wants to avenge his father's death." Vegeta's ears perked up.

"Huh. Still sounds kinda boring."

"There's a lot of stabbing in it though." Gohan flipped through the pages. "Hamlet, the prince guy, pretends to go insane in order to get back at his uncle. Turns out, his uncle killed his dad."

Vegeta learned forward to look over Gohan's shoulder. This sounded pretty good.

"Wow, Gohan. That kinda sounds like what happened to you when you were a kid."

Vegeta scoffed. Gohan's life didn't resemble this tale at all. He took a swig of the water bottle.

"Ha! Yeah, but Mr. Piccolo got him, dad came back, and I didn't go insane. There weren't any girls involved either. In the story, his uncle marries his mother to become king."

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. Trunks pulled a disgusted face. "That's nasty!"

"No kidding. But you know, it makes up for it with all the murder. There's even a crazy fight scene at the end. Not with ki blasts and stuff, but with poisoned swords."

Trunk's eyes widened. "Who won?"

"Woah now!" Gohan grinned maliciously. "I can't spoil it! You've got to read it yourself."

Gohan was startled when it disappeared out of his hands. "Hey!" He turned to see Vegeta reading the book. Needless to say that he was surprised. "Ve…Vegeta?"

The saiyan prince looked up from the book. "Are you finished with this?"

"You… you want to borrow it?" Gohan looked over at Trunks. Trunks shrugged helplessly. This was new. "I… uh… I'm not done with it yet. I still have to… memorize one of the scenes."

Vegeta turned his attention back to the book. "Which one?" He grunted.

"Act one… scene five." The teen's eyes grew wide as Vegeta flipped through the pages. He was even more startled when Vegeta started reading aloud.

"Enter ghost and Hamlet." His deep voice prompted Gohan's memory.

"Ahh… uh.." Gohan stuttered. "Wh-where wilt thou lead me? Speak; I'll go no… further?" It came out like a question.

Vegeta scowled, but nodded. "Mark me." He said, strolling around to face Gohan fully.

"I will."

"My hour is almost come, when I to sulphurous and tormenting flames must render up myself."

Trunks looked up at Gohan, confused. "What?"

"Told you it was a strange language." Gohan chuckled. "It means he's going to HFIL."

"Oooooh."

Gohan spoke to Vegeta. "Alas, poor Ghost."

Vegeta scowled at the boy. "Pity me not! But lend thy serious hearing to what I shall unfold." His voice carried a tone of threat. No one pities the prince.

"Speak. I am bound to hear." Gohan was again surprised. Vegeta sounded so sincere. So serious.

"So art thou to revenge," Vegeta leaned down, book in hand, an evil smirk on his face, "when thou shalt hear."

"What?" Gohan didn't even remember that line. It just popped out.

"I am thy…" Vegeta paused, "… king's spirit. Doomed, for a certain term to walk the night and for the day confined fast in fires, till the _foul crimes_ done in my days of nature are burnt, and purged away." Gohan didn't even notice the script change. The deep voice wrapped around him, leading him to believe that Vegeta connected with this story at some deeper level. Even Trunks sat rapt in attention. "But that, I am forbid to tell the secrets of my prison-house. I could a tale unfold whose lightest word," Vegeta's voice grew coarse, "would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood," he looked down at his glove clad hand, "make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their spheres," his dark eyes drifted back to Gohan as he spoke, "thy knotted and combined locks to part and each particular hair to stand on end like quills of the fretful porcupine."

The three didn't notice Bulma enter the kitchen. "Boys, I'm inviting a few friends over for-"

"But this eternal blazon must not be to ears of flesh and blood!" Vegeta ground out, silencing Bulma. "List, list, O List! If thou _EVER_ didst thy race love…"

Gohan knew he was supposed to say something… But what was it? So swept up in Vegeta's reading, he managed to say "Oh Kami!"

"Revenge his _foul _and most unnatural murder." Vegeta's ire sounded in his voice.

Trunks, eyes wide, supplied the next line unknowingly. "M-Murder?"

"Murder most foul as in the best it is," Vegeta waved his hand dismissively, "But this…" His fist clenched, "most foul, strange, and unnatural."

Gohan scrabbled for the next line. "Haste me to know't, that I… with wings as swift as meditation or… the thoughts of love, may… may sweep to my revenge!" He finished triumphantly. This was good for memory.

Vegeta nodded, smirking slightly. "I find thee apt." Gohan grinned, even though the praise was part of the play. "And duller shouldst be thou than the weak fool that roots itself in ease on Mt. Paozu." Oh… Gohan's grin vanished. That wasn't a compliment. "Wouldst thou not stir in this. NOW, Hamlet, hear."

The doorbell rang, causing Vegeta to stop. He glared towards the other room. Bulma was running to the door as he turned, but not before blushing furiously.

He cleared his throat. "Tis given out that, upon a dark day, fighting for my people, a serpent stung me. The whole ear of Vegetasei is by forged process of my death, abused and gone," pain appeared on his face, "but know, thou noble youth, the serpent that did sting thy king's life, now wears his crown."

Things clicked in his mind as he heard Vegetasei. "Oh my prophetic soul! Freiza!"

"Ay. That incestuous, adulterate beast!" Vegeta's ki rose with his voice. "With witchcraft of his wit, with traitorous power, - O wicked wit and power, that have the ability so to conquer! – won, to his shameful lust, the will of my most seeming-honorable people." He shook his head, the book still in his hand. "O Hamlet, what a falling-off was there! From me, whose love was of that dignity that it went hand in hand, even with the vow I made to them in battle. And to decline upon such a wretch whose natural gifts were poor to those of mine. But virtue, as it never will be moved, though death turns it in a shape of hell. So battle, though to a warrior so link'd, will sat itself in ruthless killing and prey on garbage."

Vegeta's deep voice drew Bulma's guests to the kitchen doorway. Krillin, 18, Marron, Yamucha, Puar, Tien, Chaotsu, Yajerobi, and a few others stood behind her. She held a shushing finger to her lips as the saiyan prince started up again.

"But… soft. Methinks I scent the morning air," He turned to Trunks, "brief let me be. Sparring in my chambers, my custom of training always of the afternoon, upon my secure hour stole, with blast of cursed energy in one blow and in the porches of my ears did pour the sound of death; whose effect holds such and enmity within my own blood that swift as quicksilver it courses through the natural gates and alleys of my body." Vegeta's teeth ground together. "And with a sudden blow did catch me. Like the sun burning through the air, the bright and vile power unlike mine, and a most instant tetter bark'd about, most lizard-like, with vile and loathsome crust…"

"Who's story is this?" Krillin whispered to Yamucha.

He shrugged. "It sounds like Shakespeare." He whispered back before being shushed by Bulma.

Vegeta's smooth voice carried on. "All my smooth body… Thus was I, sleeping, by my ally's hand of life, of crown…" Vegeta's voice grew soft, "of honor, at once dispatch'd. Cut off even in the blossoms of my sin, unhousel'd, disappointed, unanel'd, no reckoning made, but sent to my account with all my imperfections on my head." He put one hand to his temple, as if in memory. "Horrible, O horrible… Most horrible!" Vegeta clenched his fist and held it up. "If thou hast nature in thee, bear it not! Let not the royal house of Vegeta be a desolate memory of damned betrayal!" He pointed at Gohan. "But, howsoever thou pursuest this act, taint not thy mind, nor let thy soul contrive against thy people aught, leave them to their choices and to those thorns that in their hearts lodge to prick and sting them."

He lowered his hand, his dark eyes fierce. "Fare thee well at once! The glowing star shows the matin to be near and 'gins to pale this uneffectual fire. Adieu.. Adieu! Hamlet…" Vegeta changed the next line with a dark grin, "avenge me."

"Woah… this is getting good." Trunks commented, grinning to himself.

Gohan was stunned at Vegeta, but not too stunned that he didn't remember the next section. He spent more time on it as it was his line. "O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else?" His voice escalated as he fell into Vegeta's enthusiasm. "And shall I couple hell? O fie!" He stood up to stand toe to toe with Vegeta. "Hold, hold my heart! And you, my sinews, grow not instant old, but bear me stiffly up! Remember thee!"

"Hey guys! Sorry we're late!" Goku was shushed as he, Chichi and Goten were hustled into the group. His face was confused until he saw the standoff between Gohan and Vegeta. He was about to get physical, as was Chichi, until Bulma shushed them and told them to watch.

Gohan's lighter tones continued in stark contrast to Vegeta's deep ones. "Ay, thou poor ghost, while memory holds a seat in this distracted globe. Remember thee!" He clenched his own fists in anger. "Yea, from the table of my memory I'll wipe away all trivial fond records… all saws of books, all forms, all pressures past… That youth and observation copied there…" Gohan looked seriously into Vegeta's eyes. "Thy commandment all alone shall live within the book and volume of my brain, unmix'd with baser matter. Yes by heaven!" His own ki rose to an angry level. "O most pernicious beast! O villain! Villain… smiling _damned_ villain!" Fire burned in his eyes and his memories recalled Freiza. For once, the two saiyan's eyes matched. "My tables, - meet it is I set it down that one may smile… and smile and be a villain! At least… I'm sure it may be so with Freiza."

He powered his ki back to normal. Vegeta followed suit. "So King, there you are. Now to my word. It is 'adieu, adieu… avenge me.'" Gohan leaned forward, eyes serious. "I have sworn't."

Silence.

Vegeta smiled. "As have I." He clapped Gohan on the shoulder. "Well read, brat."

Cheering and applause broke out behind them. The two saiyans turned in surprise to face their unknown audience.

"Woo!"

"Amazing!"

"Encore!"

Gohan blushed heavily and gave the classic Son smile. Vegeta smirked briefly before scowling darkly at the group. He didn't like the fact that there were so many spectators to that. No one understood how he felt reading and reciting this human literature. They shouldn't learn that Vegeta liked to read once in a while. Heck, he had an image to uphold.

Gohan was pleased. He'd gotten a picture of King Vegeta's death and Vegeta's vow to avenge him and his planet. He wondered just how close to Hamlet Vegeta's past really was. Well, Gohan obviously wasn't going to find out now.

"Gohan that was amazing!" Chichi gushed over her well learn-ed son.

"Vegeta! I didn't know you read Shakespeare!" Bulma gushed just as hard.

Vegeta sweat-dropped. "I don't."

The flame haired man was ignored as Bulma ranted. "Oh do you know Romeo and Juliet? That is so romantic! Will you recite a sonnet to me?"

Chichi turned to Goku. "Why don't you know Shakepeare?"

"What's shaken-spear?" Goku's face looked confused and slightly troubled.

Gohan came to their rescue. "Uh… Bulma? Why is everyone here?"

"Oh! I wanted to have a get together for a quick barbecue! I figured that we haven't seen everyone for a while, so I made some calls." She turned to her guests. "Come on into the garden! We've got hamburgers cooking!"

The guests moved to the garden, chatting, passing grins, winks and compliments to Vegeta who was scowling furiously at these stupid fools. Gohan chuckled and turned to Vegeta.

"You can borrow the book. I think I've got it down now."

Vegeta nodded. "Hn."

As Gohan left to join his family and friends, Vegeta lifted the book and looked at it. Strange how humans can grasp such complex concepts like honor and vengeance. He smiled to himself. He'd enjoy reading this book.

Even though the language was strange as hell.

ENDE

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><p>This was a break from 'Under the Radar'.<p>

I was reading Hamlet the other day and was like hey… this could be a good saiyan spin off story. But I didn't want to do the whole story because it's a LONG DANG PLAY.

So here's a little snippet of an idea. If you wants, I will do a whole big saiyan thingy with Hamlet, but after I finish my current story.

You gotta let me know what you think! This oneshot will probably go up with the next two chappys. Thanks for reading!


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